4 Ways to Be Supportive to Your Ukrainian Lover
As we know, 2022 has not been a good year for a multitude of reasons, especially for those living in Ukraine. However, after every bad thing we encounter, we get up and keep moving along. For those dating anyone online, of Ukrainian nationality or not, if you are reading this to find out how to be supportive, this article is for you.
Here are 4 ways to be a supportive partner:
1. Read when you should ask about obvious concerns.
It doesn’t matter what kind of tragedy that person is going through. Do not start out your conversation or introduce the topic unless you feel it is appropriate for both of you.
Talking about personal tragedies and problems in a relationship can lead to landmines being stepped on since the topic of financial help or any kind of assistance might come up. And with money and the like in the mix, things always get tricky. Follow your gut instinct!
2. Know what you should not ask.
Being supportive requires not raising negative or harmful topics. Just like in medical practice, they advocate that, first of all, no harm should be done to the patient. That is what you should try to be in the absence of a counselor, treating a patient.
However, if your partner brings up the topic herself, don’t shy away from it either. Speak your mind, but also listen to both of your hearts at the same time and switch topics if it starts to feel uncomfortable.
3. Allow her to control the conversation.
This means giving her the conversational ball on the court. In short, make every chance available to lead the conversation and ask her open-ended questions about how she is feeling today, how her morning was, what she ate, etc. Focus on allowing her to share what she is comfortable sharing. However, take care not to sound like an interrogator.
If she asks anything about you, be sure to share it. Anyone going through a serious problem will find it a temporary safe haven. Isn’t that why we love to read books, admire superheroes, or watch movies? Sometimes we love to Imagine not being in our own skin with all the stress and issues that make up our lives once in a while.
To be frank, she would rather imagine walking along with you through that part of the day instead of all the things she has dealt with recently.
4. Give appropriate reassurance.
Do not shower her with random off-the-cuff romantic phrases like “I’m always here for you,” or “if you need anyone to talk to, you can contact me,” and the like. These must be embedded in the right way. In fact “I’m always here” is too general a promise.
For example, if the situation is hard and she is on the verge of tears, then saying “I’m here [insert her name], I’m with you right now” would be appropriate and pair it with an appropriate gesture.
To say “if you need anyone to talk to, you can contact me” allows for anyone to be considered. YOU need to be her pillar of strength when she needs it. If you have an idea when she needs reassurance and communication like before bedtime or during a scheduled break time, tell her to contact YOU during these times and assure her and ensure that you are available too.
Be There During Her Darkest Times
Whatever situation in any time and place, there will always be struggle and hardship to follow nearby and when we least expect it. The most reassuring thing for all of us is that we do not have to struggle alone. As her partner, it is not just part of your role as a lover, but a necessary result of your love for her that you support her when she needs it.
It doesn’t mean you will be good at it, and if you follow these pieces of advice and continue learning, you won’t just be helping your beloved but ensuring she will be there in your darkest times when they happen.
